


Turning the Tide

by StarbucksSue



Category: NCIS
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:08:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26162416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarbucksSue/pseuds/StarbucksSue
Summary: Returning to England for his uncle's funeral, former professional Cincinnati Bengals Football player Anthony DiNozzo is no damsel in distress, despite his career ending injury. For the past three months, he's been battling his way back from his worst nightmare all by himself. He doesn't need former Marine Jethro Gibbs swooping in to save him.But he needn't worry. Jethro has hung up his shining armour. His instinct to rescue has only brought him heartache, and he's not about to risk it all again. But Tony just might accept his help to step up and conquer his fears on his own. Even his deepest fears, like trust…and love.
Relationships: Anthony DiNozzo/Jethro Gibbs
Comments: 17
Kudos: 91
Collections: Unconventional Courtship





	1. Monday

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to Clare for the beta. I have made some changes since then, however, so any mistakes are my own. As this story is set in England (and I am English) all spellings are the UK versions!

Anthony DiNozzo took a deep breath as the car drew up outside the private wing of Paddington Hall. Numb since the telephone call from his cousin Chris three days ago with news of his uncle’s sudden death, Tony knew the reality hadn’t sunk in yet, when it did, he was pretty sure it was going to hit him hard.

The journey from the US to the UK was a familiar one for Tony. His mother had brought him over several times a year to visit her family when she’d been alive. After his mothers’ death when he was eight, his uncle had immediately flown out to New York after finding Tony’s father was away chasing a business deal and, after the funeral, had brought his nephew back to England and welcomed the grieving child into his family without hesitation. Tony had made the journey three or four times a year since then.

Paddington Hall was an elegant English stately home on the North Norfolk coast. The main house had been completed in the 18th century, with two wings added at the turn of the 19th century. The Hall had become a National Trust property in 1920 to preserve it for future generations and over the following years had been sympathetically restored by The National Trust, working alongside Tony’s great grandfather Edward and grandfather Arthur, and more recently, his Uncle Clive and cousin Crispian. A member of the Paddington family always remained as caretaker of The Hall, in charge of overseeing the ongoing restoration and maintenance of the building as well as overseeing the management of the rest of the Paddington Estate, which included the farm which was still owned by the family. 

The main central rooms of the grand house contained the original furniture and furnishings obtained when the house had been built and had been open to the public for over 75 years. The North Wing of The Hall consisted of various sized rooms available for private hire and regularly hosted conferences, weddings and other celebrations and events. In the 1960s, the old stable block had been converted into a cafeteria and the coach house into a gift shop and farm shop, which sold meat and produce from the farm, along with honey, butter and cheese made locally on the Estate. 

The family themselves lived in the South Wing, which was in itself an imposing family residence. On the ground floor were the kitchen, utility room, office, dining room, living room, family room, library and music room, along with a large conservatory with access to private gardens. A grand entrance foyer led to an airy atrium, with a curving main staircase up to the first floor where there were two master suites, along with a nursery, a playroom, and four additional bedrooms and shared bathroom suitable for younger family members. On the second floor, the old servants’ quarters had been converted into two spacious suites, along with two visitor bedrooms with en-suite facilities. Central heating had been added in the 1970s and what had once been cold and draughty rooms, thanks to the large windows, were now cosy and warm in winter and cool in summer. A domed glass roof over the centre of the wing allowed natural light to filter down the stairwell and galleries on all levels to the atrium below.

***** 

Jethro Gibbs was deeply engrossed in his work when he heard a vehicle crunching on the gravel of the drive. Following injury, the former United States Marine had found a place to belong in the sleepy coastal community and was thoroughly enjoying being able to put his carpentry skills to good use. His current project was the restoration of one of the carved newel posts in the South Wing’s library and his vantage point gave him a clear view of the drive and the approaching vehicle.

He wiped his hands on an old tea towel and made his way to the door, bounding down the steps with ease to greet the younger man as he exited the car.

“Tony, I’m Jethro Gibbs, we did meet briefly at Christmas if you recall.” Gibbs certainly remembered. The soft green eyes of Chris’ cousin had caught his attention straight away and he’d had a hard time not staring at the handsome young man all through dinner. He held out his hand and gripped Tony’s in a firm handshake. “Did Chris manage to get hold of you? He was really sorry not to be here to meet you, but he couldn’t reschedule his meeting.”

“Yes, he did, thanks. I can’t imagine how much Chris has on his plate right now. It wasn’t his fault I was delayed.” Tony replied feeling his stomach flip at the piercing blue eyes of the man in front of him, remembering the immediate attraction he’d felt at Christmas, it had been like a spark of electricity. He’d wanted to find out more about the other man, but Gibbs had disappeared soon after the meal and Tony hadn’t had a chance to see him again before he’d flown out two days later. Tony knew he was around the same age as Chris, who, at 40, was 12 years older than Tony. “I remember meeting you, ex-military right? What are you doing so far from home?” Tony asked with a grin.

“Marine, until I busted my knee. Originally from Pennsylvania. Met a flyboy in hospital who was once based at RAF Lakenheath, he wanted to come back for a holiday when he got out of hospital and asked me if I wanted to join him as we were released at the same time. We did a lot of exploring, toured the Norfolk and Suffolk coasts. Things didn’t go so well back home, so I decided to come back to stay. What gave it away?”

“My last four years of school were spent at a military academy, the haircut and your bearing clued me in. After I got expelled from my sixth boarding school my father decided I needed something with a bit more discipline. He got fed up of having to retrieve me from schools as he didn’t want to have to deal with me.”

“You have family here who obviously care. Clive and Chris talked about you a lot and you seem to be in all the family photographs. They clearly see you as one of the family.”

Tony nodded. “Yeah. I don’t know what I would have done without them. This place has been home to me for far longer than the house in Long Island where I lived when my mother was alive.” 

“Let’s get you into the house,” Gibbs glanced pointedly at the stick Tony was using, “are you going to make it up the stairs with that leg? Chris said you’d been injured but he didn’t say how badly.”

“It’s just a little stiff after all the sitting around, I don’t usually need to use it. The stairs will help build up the muscle again. I still have some physio exercises I need to do but there’s not much more in the way of rehabilitation that can be done.” He broke off, biting his lip and looking away before adding quietly. “I didn’t tell Chris how bad the injury was.” 

Gibbs looked at him with complete empathy and understanding and Tony realised the man could see straight through him. 

“Shit. Career ending wasn’t it?” Gibbs asked softly.

Tony closed his eyes against the sudden burn of tears and took a deep breath to centre himself before shrugging helplessly and looking at the other man. “Yeah, they warned me it could be right from the start, but I only found out for certain on Thursday when I had to go back to see the specialist. I really wasn’t ready to talk about it when Chris rang on Friday. That’s why there’s so much luggage. I’ve been sharing a house with a couple of other players so thought I might as well just bring everything with me as I needed to move out anyway.” He explained with harsh laugh. “Last week was a bad one.” 

“I should think it was. I can understand why you weren’t ready to tell Chris.” Gibbs slung Tony’s backpack over his shoulder and picked up the two cases, leaving Tony to bring his guitar.

Tony followed, relieved that there weren’t any more questions. In all honesty, he still didn’t feel anywhere near ready to talk about it. He was just glad Gibbs was so understanding.

Gibbs walked with him upstairs to the suite of rooms on the second floor which had been set aside for Tony’s permanent use when he turned 16. Chris had originally slept in the other suite, however after his marriage he’d moved down to the first-floor suite formerly occupied by his grandparents. Marina, two years older than her brother, had already left home by the time Tony joined the family and slept in one of the guest bedrooms on her rare visits home. Having studied law at university, she was now a successful London barrister.

“I’m going to go down and put a pot of coffee on and get on with my work. I’ll be in the library if you want some company. Unless you want to catch a nap.” Jethro offered as he turned to leave.

“I’ll take you up on that offer after I’ve taken a shower.” Tony called after him. “I’ve found that if I tough it out and stay awake and just get an early night my body copes far better with time difference and the jetlag.”

Once he was alone, Tony stood in his sitting room looking round for a few minutes. This was the only real home he’d known since he was eight. This was his safe haven, he felt a warm, comfortable feeling every time he came back. Over the years Tony had brought all of his most prized possessions back to this house. Moving around from boarding school to summer camp to university and then to the house he’d shared with two other members of his team, he’d never had a place to call his own. It hadn’t mattered to him though, even if he only ever spent a few weeks a year in England, this was the place he called home.

He stripped quickly and was soon standing under the welcome spray of the shower. Linens had already been set out and his toiletries were always left ready for his return. He stood there for several minutes just enjoying the relaxing cascade of water before soaping himself generously, eager to re-join Jethro and find out more about his enigmatic new friend.

*****

An hour later and feeling far more human after travelling on and off for almost 48 hours, Tony slipped into the kitchen to claim a mug of coffee.

“Tony!” A familiar voice called out in welcome. 

“Hi Dorothy, how are you? How’re John and the family?” He replied, walking over to give the housekeeper a hug. Dorothy and her husband John had worked for the Paddington family for over 40 years. Dorothy as housekeeper and John managing the farm on a day to day basis, along with his eldest son Robert and wife Laura. What Tony loved was that his grandparents had always treated them as friends, even part of the family. In Tony’s fathers’ house, the employees had been treated as servants, there to be used and fired if they so much as did anything wrong or disagreed with their employer. None of them had lasted more than a few months after his mothers’ death.

“We’re both fine, as are Robert, Sarah, David and their families. We have five great grandchildren now. Robert’s Amelia had another little girl, Lily, a sister for Ruby.”

“Congratulations!” Tony kissed her with real pleasure. “Chris told me she was expecting.”

“Now, how are you? Chris said you’d injured your leg; I can see you’re favouring it and you’ve lost some weight!”

“Yes, it’s healing though and as long as I keep moving regularly it doesn’t stiffen up. I’ve just been sitting down too long over the past 48 hours. I just need to keep taking some gentle exercise.” He deflected easily. “I just came in to get some coffee, Jethro said he was going to put a pot on when he helped take my luggage upstairs.”

Dorothy’s face softened when he mentioned Jethro’s name. “Gibbs is such a lovely young man. I’m so glad he’s settled here, he’s been a big help around the place, especially these past few days, helping Chris out. He also does such beautiful work; we were lucky to snap him up before too many other people got wind of his talents.” She sighed. “There’s an aura of sadness around him though, and he seems to keep very much to himself. It would be nice to see him find happiness here.”

Tony took the two mugs of coffee she handed him and made his way to the library deep in thought. His heart was racing with anticipation at the thought of seeing Gibbs again. Tony was well known to his sports buddies as a ladies’ man, but much of it was all talk. There was a part of himself that Tony had kept well-hidden whilst playing professional football and that was the fact that he was just as keen on men as he was women, only Chris and his frat brothers actually knew the truth. The years of neglect and abandonment by his father had caused him to feel insecure about his own place in people’s lives, which meant he didn’t trust or love easily. He yearned for someone to love, for the kind of intimacy and connection where he could just be himself with a partner. Meeting Jethro had sent a thrill of excitement up his spine and he found that he was trembling slightly as he walked into the library, feeling absurdly like a teenager on his first date.

***** 

Gibbs looked up with a smile when Tony walked in. “Is one of those for me?” He asked, seeing Tony had mugs in both hands.

“If you take your caffeine strong and neat, then yes.” Tony replied with a grin, trying to keep his voice steady. He placed the mugs down quickly, not wanting the other man to see that his hands were shaking, although he had a feeling Jethro already knew from the amused smirk on his face. The blue eyes didn’t seem to miss a thing.

“Strong and neat is the only way to drink coffee in the Marines.” He said with a chuckle. 

Tony wandered over to the stairs where Gibbs had been working. “Wow, I see what Dorothy meant, this really is beautiful work.” He ran a hand over the intricate carving on the newel post. The ground floor of the building had 12-foot ceilings and the library had a gallery running around the three solid walls, allowing floor to ceiling shelving. Beautifully carved wooden spiral staircases ran up both ends of the gallery with Marsh Harriers, one of Norfolk’s most prolific birds of prey, carved into the newel posts. One of the birds had sustained damage some years previously and the replacement was what Gibbs was working on. “Where did you learn to carve like this?”

Gibbs ran his hands down the handrail, staring into the distance. “My father was a carpenter, trained up professionally and had a furniture-making business with a friend of his. They both taught me when I was younger, I really enjoyed seeing beautiful things come to life in my hands.”

“But you didn’t want to follow him into the business?” Tony asked in surprise.

The other man was quiet for a moment. “My mother died when I was 16 and my Dad and I argued all the time after that. I unfairly blamed him for her death. As soon as I was 18, I left home and joined the Marines.”

“Did you ever go back?” Tony asked quietly.

“Yeah I did. After I was injured my Dad came to see me and we made our peace. I stayed with him for a couple of weeks before I returned to base and we kept in touch regularly after that. He had a heart attack and died a few years later, so I was glad I went. After that there was nothing to tie me there and I wasn’t enjoying the desk job I was doing. His business partner had died a few years previously, so I selected some tools I wanted to keep and sold the business to the apprentice Dad took on when his partner died.”

“I’m sorry,” Tony whispered, staring out of the window, “my mother died when I was eight.” He turned to Jethro. “You probably know that from Uncle Clive or Chris. My father wasn’t even around when she died, she was in hospital and our housekeeper took me to visit her every day, I was the only one with her when she died.” He stared out of the window, wrapping his arms around himself in a self-hug. It was still difficult to talk about that time in his life and it surprised him that he was telling a complete stranger. A strong hand landed on his shoulder and he closed his eyes at the warmth of the genuine comfort being offered.

“That’s really hard for a kid at that age,” Gibbs’ voice was filled with empathy and Tony couldn’t look at him, “Chris told me he she’d died, but I didn’t realise you were on your own with her at the time.” The hand squeezed his shoulder and lifted, leaving Tony feeling unaccountably bereft. “Here, your coffee’s getting cold.”

Tony turned and managed a tremulous smile, glad for the emotional reprieve. “The next couple of weeks really aren’t going to be any easier are they.” He joked weakly.

“Nope.” Jethro agreed. “Were you going to tell Chris about your injury?”

“Not yet,” Tony replied, staring into his mug, “I don’t want to make this about me. Chris has enough on his plate with Uncle Clive’s death and funeral, that’s going to be hard enough. Anyway, I’m not really ready to talk about it in detail.” He looked up at Gibbs anxiously. “You’re the only person I’ve told, please don’t tell anyone!”

“Hey. It’s okay, I’m not going to say anything, it’s your story to tell. But I’m here if you do want to talk.”

Tony let out the breath he’d been holding. “Thanks. I’m not even sure why I told you, I don’t open up to people easily, especially this quickly. You’re just so easy to talk to, I feel like I already know you.”

***** 

Gibbs pulled up outside his cottage and made his way indoors, still thinking of Tony. The younger man had a vulnerability that pushed all of Gibbs’ protective buttons. He’d been burned too many times helping others and had sworn off getting involved again. The trouble was, he’d felt an immediate connection between them at Christmas, despite the fact that they had only met briefly, and that connection and had still been there today. He hadn’t missed the signs of attraction from the younger man either. He sighed as he filled the coffee pot. It was a risk, especially with the age difference between them. But was he willing to take that risk? 

He filled his mug and carried it out to his workshop. He’d spent his first few months renting one of the cottages on the Paddington Estate but, having been granted permission to live and work in the UK, had been delighted when Peregrine Cottage came on the market a few months later with its large workshop. Set right on the seafront, the old fisherman’s cottage even had its own allocated mooring spot which had turned out to be very useful when Gibbs had discovered the old fishing boat hidden under a tarpaulin in the back of the workshop. He’d spent the past 18 months restoring and renovating her into a beautiful sailing boat. As he settled into sanding down the old dresser he was restoring, his mind turned to Tony again. He really couldn’t get the younger man out of his head.

***** 

Tony was glad when dinner was over. The meal had been lively and noisy. His 12-year-old niece Alexis and nephews George and Andrew, ten and seven respectively, still had plenty of energy despite a full day at school and hadn’t stopped talking throughout the meal. Chris and his wife, Elise, had tried to quieten the children, sensing Tony’s exhaustion, but he’d brushed them off letting the children chatter happily.

He quickly made his excuses and left the table after they’d finished the meal. He really was tired after the journey and he still needed to unpack. He was halfway through emptying the second suitcase when there was a gentle tap on the door.

“Come in.” Tony called out with a sigh. He knew it was going to be Chris. He’d been careful to avoid being alone with his cousin as he didn’t really want to have a conversation with him while he was so tired.

“Hey, I didn’t get a chance to really talk to you this evening. How are you doing?” Chris asked, leaning on the doorframe between the sitting room and bedroom.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that? You’re the one who just lost his father.” Tony replied softly with a tired smile. “Seriously, are you okay? Did they find out what caused him to collapse?”

“I’m fine, Tony. Yes, it was a shock at first but I’m okay. He had been doing some work in the gardens on Wednesday that he wanted to get finished for the Bank Holiday weekend and he was fine all day. We had dinner in the evening and about half an hour after that he just collapsed. He had a thoracic aortic aneurysm which ruptured. Some people have symptoms beforehand which means they can have surgery to repair it, but he’d had no warning signs.”

“I’m sorry, he was a really good man. More of a father to me than mine ever was.” Tony admitted. “I’m going to miss him.”

“You and me both.” Chris agreed. “I’m sorry no one from the family was here to meet you today. Marina is stuck in the middle of a high-profile trial, they’re expecting the jury to go out on Wednesday of next week and they reckon they’ll be in deliberation for at least ten days, so the funeral is arranged for Friday. Aunt Ruth decided to take Mum back to Sheringham to take her mind of things.”

“That’s okay. I enjoyed getting to know Jethro. Although we met at Christmas, I didn’t get the chance to talk to him for long, although I wanted to. I …” Tony hesitated and looked away, feeling his face heat up. Although he was aware Chris knew he played for both sides he realised that it was a bit soon to admit what he was about to say. “I like him.” He finished shyly.

“You like him, as in you’re attracted to him?” Chris questioned with a grin. “Well, you could do a lot worse, Gibbs is a great guy. Solid, dependable and reliable. Tells things straight and the sort of person who wouldn’t lead you on if he wasn’t serious about you.”

“You’d approve if I saw him?” Tony questioned anxiously.

Chris laughed. “Tony, you’re 28 years old, you don’t need anyone’s permission to date him. Seriously though, get to know him, I think you’ll find you have plenty in common. Despite your differences, you’d complement each other very well.” Chris frowned and looked carefully at Tony. “Anyway, you never answered my question, how are you? It was really bad luck getting injured during a practice game in the off season, how’s your recovery going?”

Tony sighed; this was what he’d been afraid of, if he was lucky, he could get away with the bare bones of the injury and Chris wouldn’t push for more. Although he’d phoned his uncle to tell him he’d been injured, he hadn’t gone into detail and he really didn’t want to get into it now, the loss of his career was still too raw.

“It was a bad tackle. The leg was broken in three places. They kept me in hospital for nearly two weeks after the first operation and I had to go back on two more occasions for further procedures, that’s why I didn’t make it home for Easter. I’ve been having rehabilitation and physio since I got out of the hospital but when you phoned, I thought I might as well spend the summer here, I can do all the physio exercises in my sleep by now and a lot of it is just getting the strength back in the leg. If that’s okay with you?” He finished uncertainly. It had always been his grandfather and uncle who had insisted he had a home at The Hall, and he had a sudden wave of insecurity that maybe Chris wouldn’t want to extend the welcome now that he had taken over.

“Tony, this is your home as much as it is mine. You’re always welcome here. Hell, you can stay permanently if you want to, it’s what Dad and Grandad both wanted years ago, you know that.”

Tony let out a breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding, closely followed by a huge yawn.

Chris laughed. “Okay, I’ll leave you to finish unpacking. Sleep well, I’ll see you in the morning.” He turned and left, closing the door softly behind him.

Tony stared after him long after he was gone, feelings of relief and warmth coursing through him at his cousins’ declaration that he was welcome to stay, at least it meant he had time to decide what he wanted to do with the rest of his life. He finished putting away the final items of clothing and readied himself for bed, the seed of an idea already taking root in his tired brain.


	2. Tuesday

When Tony woke the following morning, he realised that, for the first time in months, he actually felt like he had something worth getting up for. Knowing that Jethro would be working in the library again had him sliding out of bed eagerly. It was only 07:00 but he knew that Chris and Elise would be up as Elise had to get to work and the children to school in Norwich.

He showered quickly, made his bed and dressed in his favourite jeans and sweatshirt before going downstairs for breakfast. As was usual for a weekday, the kitchen was a free for all with everyone bustling around getting whatever they wanted to eat. The children were finishing off bowls of cereal while Chris and Elise had toasted bagels.

“Morning Tony, how did you sleep?” Elise smiled up at him as he entered.

“Better than I have done for a while,” Tony admitted with a grin, “this bed is far more comfortable than the one at the shared house and it’s far more peaceful.”

“That’s good.” She replied. “Help yourself to whatever you want, you know where everything is. There’s eggs and bacon if you want something hot, otherwise there’s cereal, toast or bagels. If there’s anything we haven’t got that you’d like to get in just add it to the list on the noticeboard, Dorothy is shopping this afternoon.”

“Mummy says you’re staying for the summer,” Alexis waved her spoon at Tony “you should get Gibbs to take you out on his boat, he built it himself.”

“He took us out at the weekend.” Andrew interrupted with an excited grin. “It’s pretty cool, it has a bedroom and a bathroom, and a kitchen and he made us spaghetti.”

“We sailed all the way to Cromer, and he let me steer her.” George added, not wanting to be left out.

“That sounds great,” Tony laughed, “but you sailed all the way to Cromer and you didn’t have crabs?”

“Crabs are yukky,” Andrew pulled a face, “they’re all fishy.”

“You don’t like crabs? And here I was thinking I might get some Cromer crabs and make you some of my famous Maryland crab cakes.” Tony teased.

“Yummy, I love your crab cakes.” Alexis cried as she finished her juice and stood to take her bowl to the sink.

“Okay, so I might like them in crab cakes, the fishy taste isn’t so bad.” Andrew backtracked quickly.

“You don’t have to, Andrew. Alexis and I will eat your share.” George threw in as he sauntered out of the kitchen to finish getting ready for school.

“Hey, you’re not having my share of the crab cakes.” Andrew yelled, running after his brother.

The adults all burst into laughter.

“Thanks Tony. His dislike of fish is something recent, he just came home from school one day and announced he didn’t like fish.” Elise explained as she cleared the children’s’ dishes and placed them in the dishwasher. ‘I’m sure it won’t last long, all three of them have had phases where there’s something they’ve refused to eat for a while.”

“I didn’t have that luxury at boarding school.” Chris shared a grin with Tony. “We just had to eat what was put in front of us and we had to clear our plates before we were allowed to go.”

Tony laughed. “Yes, same for me, that’s one thing boarding schools all seem to have in common.” He agreed.

“Oh well, I’d better get these scamps off to school and get to work.” Elise sighed as she finished the last of her coffee. “I’ll see you both this evening.” She kissed Chris and ruffled Tony’s hair as she passed.

Tony smiled. He loved Elise. He’d been ten when Chris had first introduced them and she had always treated him like a younger brother, the same way Chris had.

Chris sighed once she’d left the room. “Well, I’m going to have to abandon you as well as I have more meetings with The National Trust and our solicitors. The number for the local cab company is on the noticeboard if you need it, but Gibbs is around and I’m sure he won’t mind running you anywhere you need to go. I don’t know if you had time to sort out any currency so do you need any money?”

Tony shook his head. “I don’t need money; I still have some cash from last time and I’m not planning on going anywhere at the moment. I have money in the account Uncle Clive set up for me when I turned 18. I’ve been topping it up every few months so there’s always plenty in it. I’ve been sharing a rented house ever since I left college and I’ve not been spending much of my earnings over the past three years. I’ve got enough to live on and pay my share of the bills.”

“No need to worry about that at the moment. You’re family Tony, this is your home. We’re just glad that you’re here. Now, I must get going otherwise I’ll be late, I need to get some papers together and be in Norwich by 10:00. Enjoy your day with Gibbs.” He said with a knowing grin.

Tony felt the colour heat his cheeks at his cousins’ teasing. Finally alone, he finished his bagel and juice and cleared his breakfast dishes before turning to make a fresh pot of coffee, wondering if Jethro had already arrived.

That question was quickly answered when the man himself walked into the kitchen.

“Morning. Ah that was good timing, you’ve already got the coffee on.” Gibbs said with a grin.

“Must’ve known you’d just arrived,” Tony quipped, “and good morning to you too.”

“You look as if you’re moving around better this morning. You sleep well last night?”

Tony sighed. “What is it with everyone worrying about how I slept. But for your information, yes, I slept very well, thank you. Actually, it helped that Chris followed me upstairs when I went to bed, basically reassured me I was welcome to stay as long as I needed, and permanently if I wanted to.” He admitted.

“That’s good, it takes the pressure off you. You don’t want to be making any hasty decisions at the moment.”

“Does everyone here call you Gibbs? I’ve been calling you Jethro but everyone else seems to call you by your surname. Is that what you prefer?” Tony asked curiously.

“Truth is my full name is Leroy Jethro Gibbs, but I was never very fond of Leroy. In the Marines I just answered to Gibbs, so I’m used to it, some old friends called me Jethro, which is the lesser of the two evils.” He replied with a grin. “I’m happy for you to call me Jethro.”

“Thank you.” Tony smiled shyly. There was a wealth of meaning in Gibbs’ sentence and he could almost feel the electricity arcing between them. He felt his face heating up again and was sure Gibbs had noticed that he was half hard just talking to him. He turned to make the coffee to calm himself down. He hadn’t blushed so much since he was a teenager but just couldn’t seem to stop himself when it came to Gibbs.

When he turned to pass the coffee Gibbs’ eyes were twinkling with amusement.

Tony blushed again, staring into the mesmerising blue eyes which seemed to see straight through him. “I can’t hide anything from you can I.” He said with a wry grin.

Jethro shook his head with an amused smile. “Nope.” He replied quietly.

“Is it going to be a problem?” 

“No. I thought yesterday that the attraction between us was mutual. He moved closer to Tony, placing his hands on Tony’s shoulders and staring him straight in the eyes, his voice low and intense. “Look, I don’t do casual relationships but I am interested in you. With everything you’ve been through, I’m not sure that you’re emotionally in the right place to make any long-term decisions. There’s also a 12-year age difference between us and I really think we need to get to know one another first and make sure we’re both moving in the same direction.”

The hands on his shoulders felt like they were burning through Tony’s sweatshirt. He could feel the arousal building again at the contact and he couldn’t look away. He swallowed with difficulty. “Then we better get to know each other better because I want you, I’ve never been more certain of anything before.”

Gibbs stared at him for a moment and then nodded in acceptance. He stepped forward and picked up the mugs and led the way to the library, knowing that the younger man would follow.

“So, the kids tell me that you built a boat in your workshop.” It wasn’t the first thing he’d meant to ask but curiosity got the better of Tony as he recalled the conversation at breakfast. 

Gibbs laughed as they sat on one of the windows seats. “I didn’t build it from scratch. I bought one of the old fisherman’s’ cottages on The Quay, Peregrine Cottage. I’d already done some repairs here on a voluntary basis, but my intention was to go into business making or restoring furniture. I think they must like my work here though as they offered me an ongoing contract. I split my time between here and whatever project I’m working on. The Cottage was perfect as it came with a large workshop which I could use as my studio. At the back was an old fishing boat, hidden under a tarpaulin. When I looked it over the wooden hull and deck were sound, it just needed a new mast and some work done to it to make it seaworthy again. I spent over a year restoring it and turning it into a pleasure boat with a cabin, head and small galley, so I could explore the coastline. I finally got it finished and fitted out last month. The kids had their first trip at the weekend.”

“I love sailing. When my Mum was alive, we lived on Long Island. My mother loved to sail and taught me from an early age, although, I didn’t do any sailing again until I was at College with my frat brothers. I’ve walked and ridden along some of the coastal path here but never seen the coastline from the sea.”

“It’s a beautiful area, it’s why I decided to settle here. I’ll take you out this weekend, if you think your leg’s steady enough for sailing. We could leave Thursday and be back Sunday night or Monday morning. The weather’s supposed to be good and the tides and wind should be perfect for sailing down to Aldeburgh, it’s a nice little town, won’t be too busy this time of year.”

“I’d really like that,” Tony replied, “I’ve never been that far down the coast; Yarmouth is about the furthest I’ve been so it will be nice to explore further afield.” Tony picked up the empty mugs. “I guess I better let you get back to work. I need to do my physio and sort some paperwork and accounts out and then make a few phone calls in a couple of hours. I kind of left Cincinnati in a bit of a hurry and didn’t actually let some of my friends know I was leaving the country.” He grinned sheepishly. “Do you stay here for lunch or go home?”

“I stay here. When Chris is around, we have lunch together, but he and Clive told me a long time ago to make myself at home here. Sometimes Dorothy has something ready but, if not, I just grab a sandwich.”

Tony grinned. “I’ll come and find you for lunch then, we can continue to get to know one another.” He waggled his eyebrows and slipped out of the room quickly before he started blushing again, hearing Gibbs’ laughter behind him.

Tony returned to his room and connected his iPod to the dock in his sitting room so he could listen to music while he did his physio exercises. He couldn’t stop thinking about Jethro. He’d never felt such an instant connection and attraction to someone and wondered if this was what it felt like when you found your soul mate. Crazy as it sounded, bearing in mind he had only spoken to the man properly for the first time the day before, he really couldn’t imagine wanting to be with anyone else.

When he finished, he collected up the paperwork he needed and went down to the office where he could use the telephone. Four calls and two hours later the conversations with his UK bank, the family solicitor, his US bank and finally to the HR department of his former club were complete and it was late enough to start making the phone calls to his friends. He knew these calls were going to be the hardest.

*****

It was almost one o’clock when Tony put down the phone from the final call, dropping his head into his hands with a groan. The final conversation had been with one of his frat brothers, now a psychologist. True to form, Tim had been the most sceptical, partly because Tony hadn’t been completely honest about the loss of his career. Tim was concerned, thinking that Tony was quitting his job and making a rash decision. Tony had tried to reassure him and, knowing how close Tony was to his mothers’ family and how he loved England, Tim had been partially reassured. However, it hadn’t stopped him from trying to counsel Tony to ensure he wasn’t going to make a decision he would later regret, and Tony was mentally exhausted.

It wasn’t that Tony wasn’t grateful for the concern, he knew Tim was right in what he was saying, and it wasn’t as if Jethro hadn’t already made the point. But, for the first time in his life, Tony was one hundred per cent certain that he was making the right decision. He felt no doubts whatsoever in his own mind, however, to pacify those around him, he promised to give himself a few more days to think it over.

He raised his head at a soft knock on the door.

“Come in.” He called out.

Gibbs’ head appeared round the door. “You up for some lunch? Dorothy’s set us up in the conservatory.”

“Yes, I’ve just finished.” Tony rose and walked out with him. “One of my frat brothers is a psychologist, I feel like I’ve just had a hard session with him. I know everything he’s said is for my own good but trying to reassure someone thousands of miles away that you’re okay isn’t easy.”

“He’s not convinced?”

“No, he’s using your argument. He thinks I’m not in the right place to make life changing decisions, although to be honest, I didn’t tell him the injury ended my career. He thinks I’m quitting.” He sat down at the table, looking appreciatively at the quiche, baby potatoes and salad. “The truth is, my life has already changed, I’ve not made the decision, it’s been made for me. It’s just given me the chance to re-evaluate my life and choose a new direction to go in. I think that, subconsciously, I’d already decided to move to England. The fact that I packed up everything I own and brought it with me kind of backs that up, even the fact that I’ve been paying money into the UK bank account that Uncle Clive set up for me, I think I always knew that when my football career ended I’d move here permanently. I won’t make any rash decisions though; I’m going to give myself a few days to make sure I don’t change my mind.”

“You have friends in the US, won’t you miss them?”

“I had colleagues who I was friendly with on the team. But my actual friends, a couple from military school and my frat brothers, I only met up with occasionally anyway. Several are already married, the others are all busy working, we only meet up once or twice a year because everyone’s scattered from the East Coast to West. I can still do that. Technology is getting better, we have phone and email, so it’s not as if we’ll be completely out of touch. Hey, they can even come over to visit, they’re nosy enough to want to see the place.” Tony finished with a laugh as he picked at his lunch, still not having much of an appetite.

Conversation lightened up a little as they ate, and it wasn’t until they were finishing off the fruit salad and Gibbs was pouring the coffee that Tony turned the conversation again.

“So, tell me a little more about the life and times of Leroy Jethro Gibbs.” Tony said with a grin. “Where did you grow up?”

Gibbs laughed. “Well, I was born in a small rural Pennsylvania town called Stillwater. It was a great place for a kid to grow up. When I wasn’t in school, I spent my life either in the workshop or out on the land. Hunting, fishing, riding, sailing, you name it. Everything was great until I was 15 and my parents started arguing, eventually my Mom left, taking me with her. She started losing weight and I was so angry with my Dad as I blamed him for her leaving. Eight months later she died from cancer. I had to go back and live with my Dad and we fought all the time. Mike, Dad’s business partner, took me to one side after one pretty bad row and told me that Dad suspected she was getting sick and wanted her to see the doctor, but she refused. That’s what the arguments were about and that’s why she left. I was too angry to see it then though. As soon as I was old enough, I joined the Marines.” Gibbs stopped for a sip of his coffee.

“I did my training at Parris Island in South Carolina and spent time in Northern Europe, Lebanon and Central America. I ended up in Kuwait in 1990, got injured during Desert Storm in ’91 and that was basically the end of my career. I had trained as a sniper and was Gunnery Sergeant; it wasn’t something I’d ever really anticipated but once I realised that I could make a difference to the troubled young kids who were on their last chance the job grew on me. It’s rewarding to see young men, who are full of anger and resentment at the world and towards anyone in authority, suddenly turn the corner when they realise that someone is really on their side, someone willing to invest in them, to believe in them. Someone able to look beyond the mask and see the person underneath. I lost count of the lives I turned about by giving them that one last chance when everyone else had given up. It gave me real satisfaction to be able to harness their potential and turn them into successful and confident young Marines. How about you?”

“I could have easily turned into one of those kids.” Tony admitted softly. I was born in New York; my parents had a house in The Hamptons and I loved living there with my Mum. I didn’t see my father very often as he spent so much time away on business. To be honest, I much preferred it when it was just the two of us, Mum taught me to play the piano, to sail and to ride my bike, we went to movies every Saturday, to Mass every Sunday, I loved it. When my father was home it was like whatever I did was wrong. Even when Mum was diagnosed with cancer he didn’t stay home, he was away that last time she was taken into hospital. Even though he knew she’d been admitted he didn’t cut his trip short to come home. That’s how come I was alone with her when she died.” He stopped and took a deep breath. 

“I called Uncle Clive from the hospital. When he found out I was alone he literally dropped everything and flew over with Aunt Alice. I found out later that he contacted my father and told him that if he wasn’t home within 24 hours, he was going to take me and Mum back to England and bury her in the family plot. My father arrived home the next morning. After the funeral he flew straight back to Florida where he was doing business. Aunt Alice helped me pack and they brought me back here until the end of the summer. My father insisted I came back just before school started.

“He was never interested in me though. I think the only reason he made me continue my education in the US was just so they couldn’t keep me. At first, he sent me back to my old day school. He demanded to see me every evening in his study, I had to pour his scotch and report about my school day. He was never pleased with any of my grades, always said I should do better. Eventually he got fed up with me and when my new stepmother wasn’t interested in me either, he sent me off to boarding school when I was 10. I acted out all the time and ended up getting myself expelled because then I had to return to Long Island, but he didn’t let me stay there, he just got me into another school or shipped me off to a summer camp or to England. Between the ages of 10 and 14 I was expelled from six schools and my father had been divorced and remarried again. My second stepmother was actually pretty nice. She was the one who collected me from my sixth school and brought me back to Long Island, I think she realised why I was the way I was and tried to be my friend.” Tony smiled gently at the memory. “She argued with my father when he lost his temper and told me he was sending me to military school at the end of the summer, I overheard him tell her that he would fulfil his responsibility of paying for my education until I finished school but then I was on my own. He shipped me off to England the next day. When I returned in September I had to go straight to the Military Academy, I didn’t even see him. 

“While I was in England, a large box turned up addressed to Uncle Clive. In it was a letter from my stepmother and it was filled with my stuff. Apparently, in a fit of drunken rage my father had trashed my room and intended to throw everything out. He was so drunk he fell asleep before he finished. She got in there and packed up everything he hadn’t ruined and posted them off to Uncle Clive before he woke up. He even trashed my mothers’ piano which she had wanted me to have.” He had to stop there as the reminder of the treasured piano being destroyed almost undid him. “She left him two days later. She remarried and had three children of her own. Every year she sends me a Christmas card.” He shook his head, still surprised by the actions of someone he’d known for only a few weeks.

“I think after that was when I knew I was on my own. Yes, Uncle Clive and Aunt Alice cared, but they were so far away. I knew I could call them at any time, but I still had to make my own way. Military school was good for me, I quickly realised that my military tutors were very different people than my other teachers had been. It’s like you said, they wanted to help, to make a difference. They respected who I was, and I respected them. They encouraged me to play sports, I had all his energy that just needed to be burned off. They helped me get the scholarship to Ohio and Uncle Clive paid for everything over and above what the scholarship paid for. I worked hard, played football and basketball seriously and several other sports for fun. Kept up my piano playing in a local jazz club to make a little extra pocket money, I can sing a bit too, and play guitar.”

Tony rose to his feet reluctantly and started stacking their empty plates and dishes. He’d enjoyed lunch with Jethro, despite only really meeting the man less than 24 hours previously he already felt relaxed and comfortable with him, even more so than with his frat brothers who he’d known for many years. Somehow being with Jethro felt right and he’d already told the older man things which he’d never shared with anyone outside of his family.

They rinsed the dishes and placed them in the dishwasher before parting for the afternoon. At a bit of a loss, Tony decided to take a walk around the grounds to stretch his legs. What he really wanted to do was spend more time with Jethro but was reluctant to impose himself on the older man while he was working.

*****

After a short walk, Tony spent the rest of the afternoon in the music room playing the piano. The beautiful white baby grand was the instrument his mother had learned to play on. His mother had taught Tony to play at a very young age and then arranged lessons for him once he turned five. They had often played together when they stayed at The Hall, before her death. For Tony, the memories were bittersweet but playing this piano always made the loss of the one at the Long Island house less painful.

Tony lost track of time while he played, he started off with jazz and ended up with a medley of the classical music he’d played with his mother, it was only when Gibbs came to find him that he realised how late it was.

“You play beautifully, I can see why they would pay you to play.” Gibbs smiled in appreciation. “I really liked the way you mix the different tunes into a medley.”

“I used to do that a lot playing jazz, especially when people were dancing, they seemed to like it. It’s better than just playing one straight song after another, keeps them on the dance floor longer. The more they dance, the more drinks they buy.” Tony replied with a grin.

Voices interrupted them as Elise and the children arrived home and Tony closed the piano lid and rose to his feet, wincing at the stiffness in his leg from sitting for so long.

“You want to take a walk outside to stretch the muscles?” Gibbs asked, “we’ve got half an hour before dinner.”

“Yes, that sounds like a good idea. I really should be doing my physio exercises twice a day, the walking and stairs help though. I’ll do some swimming when the weather warms up a bit too, both lake and sea.”

“It’s a good idea. Shame there isn’t an indoor pool here.”

“Perhaps I should suggest that to Chris.” Tony laughed. “The closest is Sheringham, it’s not too bad but gets pretty crowded with the kids and they do lessons there, so you have to pick your time as it’s not open to the public while the lessons are going on. They do adult only swimming but it’s usually lane swimming which gets a bit boring after a while.”

They walked out through the conservatory, along the gravel path alongside the lawn which led through the rose garden and wildflower meadow towards the lake.

“How come I didn’t see you here last summer, I was over for four weeks in July and August?” Tony asked.

“I was working on a special commission, bespoke bedroom furniture for one of the cottages in the village. They couldn’t get any standard furniture to fit in the odd shaped room. I really enjoyed doing it.” Gibbs explained. “The Hall gets really busy during the summer school holidays, late July to early September, so it’s harder to get any work done here, so it worked out well.”

‘Have you done many commissions like that?” 

“Not many, that’s probably the biggest project. I’ve also done some smaller projects; a jewellery box is the smallest, side tables and bookcases the largest. I’ve done a few bits of restoration as well. A bureau, a couple of dressers, a dining table and chairs. I learned how to re-cover the seats too.”

“And the boat.” Tony added with a grin.

“Yeah, and the boat. That was a labour of love but worth it. She’s a real joy to sail, although it is easier with two people when it comes to handling the sails.”

They walked alongside the lake for a few more minutes before turning back up to the house via the kitchen garden, where they were met by Alexis, sent out to look for them as dinner was ready.


	3. Wednesday

Tony was up early the next morning, he’d made appointments to see the bank manager and the family solicitor in Norwich and was catching a ride with Elise and the children. Although he already knew that he had the right to live and work in the UK, he wanted to check to see if there were any further legal requirements necessary for permanent residence. He was also going to take the opportunity to do some shopping while he was there, wanting to get a black tie and a new shirt for the funeral as well as some deck shoes and other bits for the sailing trip at the weekend. 

Elise was a teacher at Notre Dame High School, where Alexis attended, with the boys at the prep school a few minutes away, which meant that they had to leave at 07:45. With the meeting at the bank at 10:00 and the solicitor at 14:00, it would allow Tony time for lunch and shopping without having to rush.

***** 

Knowing that Tony wouldn’t be around, Gibbs arrived early to make up a little of the time he’d been spending with the younger man. He filled his mug and carried it through to the library intent on getting started. 

“Gibbs.”

He turned at the soft call from Chris.

“I’m a little worried about Tony. You’ve seen more of him than I have since he’s been home. I had a quick word with him on his first night and I thought he was just tired, but he still seems subdued. I asked him about his injury but I’m sure he was deflecting, and I get the impression that there’s something he’s not telling me. Has he said anything to you?”

“I know he’s dealing with a couple of issues at the moment, he’ll be okay, he just needs to sort things out in his own head.”

“You know what’s going on with him?”

“Yes, sort of. I’m sure he’ll talk to you once he’s thought things through. He just doesn’t want to worry you while you’ve got so much on your plate.”

“Thanks. As long as he’s talking to you, I won’t worry. I’m not sure how long he wants to stay but if there’s something wrong, I didn’t want him leave and think I didn’t care.”

Gibbs laughed. “You don’t need to worry about that, he knows you care and he’s not thinking of going anywhere at the moment. Well, I am taking him on the boat for a long weekend, we’re going to sail down to Aldeburgh, but I’ll bring him back in one piece, I promise.”

“That’s a relief. I’ll back off on him then, until he’s ready to talk. The two of you seem to be getting along well, I thought you might have a few things in common.”

“Yeah, we do, the attraction is mutual. I’m enjoying his company and I understand a little of what he’s been through. He really has had a rough time. I’ve seen the result of neglect like that in kids during my time in the Corps, he’s lucky he has family here who care.”

“I’m proud of the man he’s become, and I know Dad was too. I’ve never had the pleasure of actually meeting the scumbag who calls himself his father, but I know my father and grandfather never had a good word to say about him. My grandparents weren’t overly pleased when Aunt Mary decided to marry him, he was charming and seemed like a successful businessman, but Dad said that they all thought there was something off about him. Aunt Mary always seemed happy though. From what I understand, the marriage was fine until Tony was born. He just couldn’t accept that Aunt Mary wanted to stay home and look after Tony herself, rather than pass him over to the hired help so she could travel with him and impress the clients for his business deals.”

“Tony has a lot of happy memories of his mother and the things they did together.”

“I’m glad he does. He was so upset when his father smashed up their piano, what he doesn’t know yet is that Dad left him the piano here in his will, this is the piano Aunt Mary learned to play on, and she and Tony used to play together.”

“That will mean a lot to him. He was playing this afternoon; he sounds like a professional.”

“I know. Did he tell you he used to play in a jazz club when he was at College, for ‘pocket money’ he called it. He only plays jazz for an audience though; he won’t play the classical music he played with his mother with anyone watching. He does have some issues; you may need to be patient with him.”

“He’s already talked a little to me. He seems to trust me, and I get the impression he doesn’t give his trust easily.”

“He doesn’t. I’m not totally sure that he completely trusts me. I know he trusted Dad but from his reaction the day he arrived he wasn’t completely sure that he was still welcome. He was so uncertain and then looked relieved when I reassured him that he had a home here for life if he wanted.”

“Yeah, he mentioned that. I don’t think he has any doubts. I know he looks on you and Elise as his big brother and sister.”

“I’m glad about that, that’s how we feel about him too. The kids adore him as well, they’ve always known him as their Uncle Tony.”

***** 

Tony hadn’t been to Norwich for a few years. Elise dropped him off with the boys and he walked them into school. Realising he wasn’t far from St John the Baptist Cathedral and had plenty of time he took a detour. Crossing himself with holy water he walked slowly to the front of the cathedral and lit candles for his uncle and his mother, both now reunited with their parents. He said a short prayer for them both, as well as for himself, asking for guidance for the decision he had to make. He hadn’t been a regular churchgoer since his mothers’ death, but before she died, she had made the eight-year-old promise to say his morning and evening prayers daily and pray his rosary at least once a week. 

At first, he had argued with her tearfully, railing against God for not curing his mother despite his constant prayers. “God can’t give everyone everything they want, sweetheart.” She’d explained gently, hugging the heartbroken child close. “We would never appreciate what we have if he did that. He does have a plan for you though. Believe in him, darling. Trust God and remember your prayers and something wonderful will happen to you one day.” It was a promise he’d kept, not wanting to tarnish her memory by breaking it.

Remembering that now, Tony said another prayer of thanks for meeting Gibbs, wondering if this was what his mother had meant, all those years ago.

***** 

They got home at 16:45. Seeing Gibbs’ truck still in the drive, Tony asked Alexis to run his bags up to his room while he went in search of his friend.

“Hey, how was your day?” Gibbs asked.

“Good. Everything is sorted with the bank and in hand with the solicitor, he doesn’t think there would be any issues with me living here permanently, if that’s what I really want.”

“It would be that easy?”

“Well, it seems so. My Mum kept her British Nationality and although I was born in New York she registered me here as an English child born overseas so I have dual nationality. I have a British passport and am allowed to live and work here.” Tony laughed softly before quickly sobering up. “I think I know what I want to do, I just hope that everyone accepts my decision, I don’t really want to have to argue my case with anyone else like I had to with Tim.”

“I’m sure it will be okay. Chris asked me today if I knew what was wrong with you. He’s noticed that you’ve been distant and quieter than usual with him and realised you’re not telling him everything.”

“Did you tell him?”

“No details. I just said you had a few things to think about and needed to get them straight in your head. He was just worried that you didn’t think you could talk to him.”

“Damn,” Tony sighed, “I guess I’ll have to talk to him soon. I was going to wait until the funeral was over but maybe I’ll speak to him after the weekend. I still don’t really feel ready to talk about it all, even though I know what I want to do. Are you staying for dinner?”

“Yes, dinner and then I’m going to check the boat over and make sure I’ve got everything we need. Make sure you dress warmly in layers. It’s supposed to be warm over the next few days, but it’ll be colder out at sea, and make sure you have at least two changes of clothes, in case you get wet! I’ll pick you up at 06:30, okay?”

“You think I’m gonna fall in?”

“You never know, although it was more in case it rains, or you get soaked by spray.” Gibbs grinned. “Cold and wet is just plain miserable.”


	4. Thursday

They packed up the boat and left the inner harbour on the Thursday morning high tide, the little engine purring smoothly as they navigated their way through the channel. Once they left the outer harbour, Gibbs turned off the engine and the warm breeze filled the sails as they headed out towards the sea and then turned along the coast.

Gibbs was pleased to see that Tony looked more relaxed. The stress of trying to hold things together around his family had been beginning to show and he was encouraged to see the younger man relaxing, happy to take the wheel while Gibbs set the sails. Tony’s leg didn’t seem to bother him as he navigated the deck, but Gibbs had still insisted he wore his life vest, despite the calm waters.

Tony had been excited when he’d seen the boat for the first time. The Bittern had originally been a traditional wooden North Sea fishing boat but had been lovingly restored for use as a pleasure boat. Gibbs had stripped down the cabin and storage area and refitted it with a generous double berth, small bathroom with shower, functional galley and seating area, which could be turned into two additional single berths. To Gibbs’ amusement, Tony had explored every cupboard, nook and cranny and he’d had been secretly delighted to see the joy and animation on Tony’s face as he explored the boat.

He was also pleased to learn how well they worked together as a team. With Tony’s knowledge of sailing he knew exactly when Gibbs needed him to take the wheel so that Gibbs could see to the sails. Tony had watched him carefully, gradually learning how the sails operated so he could take his turn. As Gibbs discovered, his companion was a quick learner and didn’t need to be told anything twice.

They weren’t in any hurry and had plenty of time to get to the place where Gibbs’ intended to stop for the night, a private jetty on the outskirts of one of the coastal villages. Gibbs knew the owner, someone who spent weekdays working in London, and had arranged it in advance.

Travelling fairly slowly allowed them to take in the sights of the coastline, which varied from cliffs to lower lying land with golden, sandy beaches.

They stopped at Cromer for lunch, enjoying freshly caught Cromer crabs, sitting on the seafront to eat them. The weather was pleasantly warm for mid-May and there were a lot of people out, mostly older people who had retired, enjoying a stroll along the pier whilst the children were still in school, or young mothers with babies and toddlers. After coffee and slice of Norfolk Cider Apple Cake at a local bakery, they made their way back to the boat.

***** 

By the time they stopped for the evening the sun was beginning to go down, they sat on deck eating cheese, crackers and apples, along with a slice of Walsingham Honey Cake which they’d picked up at Cromer.

The sunset over the Norfolk Coast was glorious. They sat watching in awed silence as the fiery sun slipped below the horizon, leaving them with just the little lights on the boat and the glow of the streetlamps from the far-off village.

Gibbs stood to light the lantern on the stern of the boat, before grabbing two beers. Sitting back down, he took a deep breath. He didn’t like talking about his past but, if it would help Tony share his own story, he was willing to do it.

“You know I was in your position once, having to make a life changing decision. I know how hard it is to let go of the career you thought you’d have for years, that your whole life was centred around.

“I mentioned before that I was out in Kuwait during Desert Storm. The unit I was with got caught up searching for a group of six soldiers who had been captured whilst on recon. We were so close to rescuing them. I befriended a teenage boy from the local village, he couldn’t have been more than 14, he was a good kid, didn’t want to kill anyone, just wanted the war to be over so he could have a normal life. His family had all been killed and I told him that if he helped us, we could take him somewhere safe, away from the fighting, find a better life for him. He was willing to give us information on where they were being held. We set up a rescue, we nearly made it but one of the guards decided to take a leak the exact minute we entered the building and was able to raise the alarm. Even so, we cleared the building and were almost free when they started retaliating. One of the men threw a grenade at us. It killed two of our group and injured three others. I’ll never forget the look of guilt and sorrow on the boys’ face. He couldn’t do anything though; they’d have killed him.” He looked over at Tony and could see his companion following every word, eyes luminous in the twilight.

“I was airlifted back to base and was eventually brought back Stateside and then transferred to Bethesda. That’s when they told me that I could never go back on active duty. The knee was shattered so completely that I wouldn’t ever be fit enough again. I needed three months of rehabilitation and was given two months’ leave before I had to decide whether to take a desk job or be discharged on medical grounds.

“That’s when Bill and I came over here, spent four weeks exploring Suffolk and the Norfolk Broads, walking and riding along the Coastal Path and beaches. When we got home, he went back to his family and I stopped off to visit my Dad for a few weeks, before reporting back to Camp Pendleton.” He stopped to take a long drink. Tony just watched him silently, as if afraid he would break the spell by speaking.

“I didn’t enjoy the desk job; I was in the family liaison office. That was where I met Shannon and her daughter Kelly. She was the wife of one of the men killed when I was injured, and we became friends. An old boyfriend of hers showed up. He’d heard she was ‘available’ and tried to get together with her. She told him straight that she wasn’t interested but he wouldn’t give up. Started stalking her, sending her letters and calling her. She didn’t give in and he didn’t give up. I couldn’t be with her 24/7 though and one day he drove his truck right into the side of her car, both vehicles went off the road down the side of a ravine, his truck exploded on impact, killing all of them.

“Only a couple of days before we’d talked about moving away. We were getting closer and I was going to get a transfer to Norfolk or Quantico so we could move right across the country, far away from him.” He stopped and took a deep breath. “That’s when I left the Corps, I didn’t have the heart for it anymore. I couldn’t decide what I wanted to do. Then my Dad died, once I’d sorted out his things, I packed up what I could fit in my seabag and backpack and booked a one-way ticket to Heathrow. I travelled around for a couple of weeks before renting one of the cottages on the Estate for the duration my visa allowed me to stay.”

Tony frowned. “That was nearly three years ago.” 

“Yeah. Clive and Chris like to get to know the people who rent property on the Estate. When Clive learned I did carpentry he asked my advice on the panelling in one of the reception rooms at The Hall. I showed him what I could do and that was it. I applied to stay and work in the UK and here I am. When I found the cottage on The Quay was up for sale, I jumped at the chance. I love sailing and found this old girl abandoned in the workshop adjacent to the cottage and realised she had so much potential, the workshop was just perfect for what I wanted to do. Between your family, the Norfolk Coast and this old girl I finally started living again.”

“I’m glad you did. I’m so sorry that happened to you. It puts things in perspective, what happened to me is nothing compared to what you went through.” Tony said softly.

“Hey, no!” Gibbs was quick to respond. “I didn’t tell you for that reason. You’ve recently been through two major traumas and you have every right to feel sorrow and grief for your losses.” He sighed. “Tony, you can’t keep burying it, it’s not working, you need to face what’s happened and grieve, you won’t really be able to move on until you do.” He shook his head. “Your father really made you feel that you didn’t matter?”

“Yeah,” Tony said softly with a sigh, “despite all the people who have tried to persuade me otherwise. However much I’d like to trust people I just end up waiting for them to reject me. I even screw up relationships deliberately before they get started just so I don’t have to go through the rejection. If it’s just a one night stand it can’t hurt when they leave.” He sighed before looking up at Gibbs. “Somehow, though, feel I can trust you. I don’t know how; I just know deep inside that I can. I even doubted Chris.” He admitted sheepishly. “I loved and trusted Uncle Clive and knew he wanted me, but in a moment of weakness that first night I wondered whether Chris felt the same, I was afraid he would tell me that I wasn’t wanted here now. I feel really bad about it, especially after he went out of his way to reassure me. Then again, maybe he said that because he knows me too well.” He stopped and took a deep breath.

“I had a great time at College. The local football clubs always sent scouts to our matches and towards the end of the season they started putting feelers out to the players. I was picked up by the Cincinnati Bengals and had a wild and crazy ride until the day I was taken down. I spent weeks in and out of the operating theatre while they tried to repair the damage, they really couldn’t tell how it would heal though. They warned me early on that it could end my career, but I ignored them, thought that they had to say that just in case. I guess that while there was still hope I just clung to that and didn’t want to see the reality. When I saw the specialist last week that’s when he confirmed that I would never be able to play again. I walked out of his office totally numb. He spoke to my manager who came around to the house and tried to talk to me, something about insurance and injury benefits but it just went over my head, I couldn’t take anything in. I just locked myself in my room, curled up in bed and ignored anyone. The following day I just didn’t want to get out of bed, until Chris rang and told me about Uncle Clive. I think my subconscious just took over. I literally packed everything up, threw out anything I didn’t need to take with me and the following morning I got a cab to the airport, took a flight to O’Hare and booked on the first direct flight to Heathrow. I really don’t think I consciously knew what I was doing, I just knew I didn’t ever want to go back.” He stopped and took a deep breath.

“You know, until Chris rang, I thought I’d lost everything; I thought losing my career was the end of the world. But as soon as he called, it’s like everything changed, and I just knew I needed to come home. I know I’m upset, and I’m confused, I just don’t know what I’m upset about the most. I thought it was losing my career and at one point it was, but Uncle Clive was like a father to me and knowing he’s gone has left such a huge hole. I hadn’t seen him since Christmas and it’s the first time I’ve never made it home for Easter and I just keep thinking that if I’d been here, I’d at least have seen him one more time and now I’ll never see him again and …” His voice broke and he felt tears sting his eyes. His chest ached and his throat was so tight that he couldn’t say any more. He stared up into the night sky, swallowing hard, trying desperately to compose himself.

Gibbs reached out and pulled Tony into his arms as the tears spilled over. Despite Tony opening up a little over the past couple of days, he’d sensed the younger mans’ regrets and confusion. Reeling from the twin losses of his career and his uncle in the same week, Tony’s world had been turned upside down. No wonder the younger man was conflicted.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you.” He murmured gently. “Just go with it, Tony. It will all make sense, I promise you.” 

He felt Tony’s arms snake around his waist, hands fisting tightly in the back of his sweatshirt, anchoring himself to the strong body supporting him. Gibbs just sat and held him, running a hand up and down Tony’s back. Giving him a safe harbour to grieve. This cathartic release would hopefully turn the tide, allowing Jethro to help him leave the past behind and look to the future.

Under cover of the moonlight, the little boat bobbed on the water, rocking them gently in her own attempt to soothe and comfort.


	5. Friday

When Tony woke up, sunlight was streaming through the small windows into the little cabin. He looked around and sighed, realising that he had slept alone. He winced as he recalled the previous evening; it wasn’t exactly how he’d imagined the first night aboard, but he had a funny feeling that it may have been what his companion had anticipated.

He didn’t actually remember getting into bed but guessed he must have had some input into climbing down the steps and swapping his jeans and hoodie for sweats and a long-sleeved t-shirt. He slipped out of bed and stopped off in the head, before following the smell of coffee into the galley, pouring himself a mug, before he headed up on deck.

‘Heard you moving around,” Gibbs commented as he reached the top of the steps, ‘how are you feeling this morning?”

Tony walked over the deck and sat down, leaning into the warm body beside him. “I do feel better,” He admitted, “I’m sorry about the meltdown.”

“No worries, I was hoping it would help, you needed it Tony. I know you don’t want to burden Chris with this so I thought that getting away for a few days would give you the freedom to open up and talk about it, separate the feelings you have about your uncles’ death from those of the loss of your career. Maybe soften the edges a little so you can share it with Chris and Elise when we get back.”

“You told me last night that it would make sense and, you were right. It does. I was upset about the loss of my career and I thought it was the end of my world. Uncle Clive’s death has put it in perspective though. Yes, I enjoyed playing and I loved my career, but I also love my family too, and living here.” Tony chewed on his lip and frowned in thought.

“I had a counsellor at one of my boarding schools who went to great lengths to explain the stages of grief.” He continued. “She thought my behaviour was due to my mothers’ death, when, in reality, Uncle Clive and Aunt Alice had seen me though that. My behaviour was all due to my fathers’ neglect and abandonment. I spent rather a long time going through the stages before I finally reached acceptance when he sent me to military school, realising that he was never going to want me. I don’t want to get stuck in that cycle again.”

“You don’t have to. Just because the stages exist doesn’t meant that everyone goes through them all, or even in order.” Jethro told him. “You’re strong, Tony. You’ve been through a lot in your life and you’ve had to cope with things on your own for a long time. Having family at a distance isn’t the same as having people physically beside you to help you through. You didn’t always have that before, but you do now. You’re not going through this alone, you have family who you can be there to support and who will support you in return, it’s not a one-way thing,” He looked Tony straight in the eyes, “and you have me, I’m in this for the long haul if you want me.”

Tony placed the empty mug on the deck and stood, repositioning himself so he was straddling Gibbs’ lap, throwing his arms around Gibbs’ neck, looking into his eyes earnestly. “Definitely, Jethro. I do want you. I’ve wanted you since the moment I first saw you.”

Gibbs smiled and reached out, curling his hand possessively around the curve of Tony’s neck as he pulled him closer, close enough to kiss.

Without any hesitation, Tony melted into the kiss. Warm, soft lips met his in a kiss that was almost chaste, a gentle hesitant touch like the soft brush of a feather. Tony moaned quietly pressing himself even closer and opening his mouth, asking for more. When Gibbs obliged, he kissed back hungrily, devouring Gibbs’ mouth and clinging on hard, as though he was afraid Gibbs would disappear.

They were both aroused, Gibbs could feel Tony’s erection against his own and so broke the kiss before things got out of hand. As much as he wanted to make love to the young man in his arms, he didn’t want to rush things. Tony had been through a lot over the past week and was only just coming to terms with his situation. Although they were clearly headed towards sex, he wanted their first time to be slow and special, he wanted to show Tony just how much he was loved and wanted.

Tony buried his head in Gibbs’ shoulder breathing heavily, and Gibbs stroked his back in lazily circles as he calmed down.

Once his breathing was back to normal, Tony placed a gentle kiss on Gibbs’ neck. “Hmm, kissing is good, we’ll have to do some more of that again later.” He pulled back with a saucy grin and stood, collecting the coffee mugs before turning and going back down below deck

***** 

They had breakfast and set off in glorious sunshine. The wind was kind and they made it to the Yacht Station on the outskirts of Great Yarmouth in time for a leisurely lunch at The White Swan Pub, overlooking the River Bure. Following lunch, they had a wander around to stretch their legs before returning to the boat.

As they continued their journey along the coast they worked together seamlessly, as if they had been sailing together for years. The little boat sped happily through the rippling waves of the North Sea, finally arriving at Aldeburgh Yacht Club in early evening.

The Martello Tower caught Tony’s interest as they passed so they walked along to take a closer look once they had secured the boat. The Aldeburgh tower was the largest and most northerly of the chain of towers which had once formed a defensive line along the coast to keep the Napoleonic armies at bay. Tony was fascinated with the history of the towers and to discover that this particular building had been turned into a holiday home and was available to hire.

They walked back along the beach into the small town, stopping off at the fish and chip shop just as the sun was setting and taking their supper back to eat on the seafront, where they could admire another beautiful sunset while they ate.

When they had finished, Gibbs collected their rubbish and took it to a nearby litter bin. When he returned, he pulled Tony up, wrapping his arm around him and pulling him close as they walked back to the boat. 

“Thank you, Jethro,” Tony murmured, “this trip was just what I needed; and you are just what I need. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, never been so sure of what I wanted. Being with you feels so right.”

“You’re definitely going to stay here, in England?” Gibbs asked.

“Yes I am.” Tony replied decisively. “The Hall and Estate have always been run by two members of the Paddington family so Chris will need some help. I know he always prefers the behind the scenes part of the business but I’m good front of house, I’m good with people. I’ve done my turn as tour guide during the summer holidays when I was over here, did you know that?” He laughed. “I’ve always been happy here, even more so now I have you.” He smiled shyly at Gibbs.

“Won’t that just be a volunteer role?”

“Yes. I don’t expect to be paid and I don’t need to be, at least for a good few years anyway. I was well paid for playing football, Jethro. Uncle Clive ensured that I invested wisely and, apart from spring break, I never really spent any of it. I also learned on Thursday from the solicitor that my mother left me a considerable amount of money which I get when I turn 35. On top of that, I have a trust fund that my grandfather set up which I can access when I turn 30. Both have been very well invested. I can live on my earnings for the next couple of years and then they can arrange a monthly payment from my trust fund so it’s like I have a monthly income to live on. My grandfather made sure I don’t fritter it away.” He finished with a laugh.

“You’re really sure about this, about us?” Gibbs asked softly, “despite the age difference.”

“My Grandfather was 14 years older than my Grandmother and they were married for over 50 years.” Tony grinned. “Seriously though, Jethro, it doesn’t worry me at all. People my own age can be fun but, I think I grew up more quickly than they did, I want someone a bit more mature than that to settle down with. I think that’s part of why I trust you and feel safe with you. There are so many things about you which attract me. Seriously, I get turned on just looking at you, and being with you just feels so right. I just want to be with you in every way, all the time.”

Gibbs smiled. “It feels right to me too. I know it’s nice to be together all the time, but we have all the time in the world to get to know each other properly. Let’s get the funeral over and Clive’s estate sorted out, then get you settled in and spend some time together, go on a few dates, before we rush into anything like living together.” He chuckled. “At least I already know and like the in-laws.”

Tony laughed. “How about you, any in-laws I need to know about?”

“No. I was an only child, so were my parents. You’re my everything.” Gibbs replied.

Tony looked at him in awe. “Wow, I don’t know what to say! I’ve never been anyone’s everything before.”

“Well you’re mine. I just hope one day you don’t regret being with someone older than you.”

Tony sighed. “This isn’t something I’m going to regret. I want to go to sleep in your arms every night and wake up in your arms every morning.” He gave Gibbs a cheeky grin and the older man rolled his eyes. “Just look at it,” Tony stared out at the ocean, changing the subject, “the sky is so clear, and the moon and stars are so bright. I never saw skies like this in New York, Cincinnati or Columbus. Rhode Island was a little better but nothing like this. It sure is beautiful here.”

“Yeah, that’s why I came back. I didn’t know how long I was going to stay at first, but I loved it, I knew I didn’t want to go back to the States. Finding the cottage and the boat in the workshop was like it was meant to be.” Gibbs explained as he handed Tony onto the boat and jumped on himself. “What’s wrong?” 

Tony was looking at Gibbs uncertainly, chewing on his lip.

“Can we …” He broke off and looked down.

“Can we what?” Gibbs asked softly.

“Can we sleep in the same bed tonight, just to sleep. I want to sleep in your arms.” Tony finished in a whisper.

Gibbs groaned inwardly at the temptation, being careful not to let it show on his face. “Sure, we can,” he replied. “but just to sleep, nothing else.”

“Okay.” Tony agreed with a shy smile.

They both got ready for bed and Tony climbed in bed and rolled over against the hull, but as soon as Gibbs climbed in and lay on his back Tony rolled back, laying half on him, his head tucked on Gibbs’ shoulder and his arm across his chest. “I’ve always wanted to sleep snuggled up to someone like this,” he confided in a whisper, “I’ve never spent the night sleeping with someone, male or female, I’ve always left after the sex. I’ve never trusted anyone with any more than that, never thought they would really want me for anything other than sex.” He admitted.

“Your father abused you Tony. Maybe not physically but mentally and emotionally.” Gibbs told him gently. “It’s no wonder you feel so insecure about relationships, that’s why I don’t want to rush this with you. You’re worth more than that.”

Tony nodded against his shoulder. “I’ve always felt wanted here. Did I tell you that my Grandparents and Uncle Clive tried to get custody of me after Mum died when they realised my father didn’t want me? He wouldn’t give me up though, not because he wanted me himself but just to stop them from having me. That’s when they negotiated the holiday deal. I was allowed to spend two weeks at Christmas, two at Easter and most of the summer holidays with the exception of the last two weeks. Not that he wanted me then either, he just sent me to summer camp instead, I think it was to make sure I was back in the country for school. I used to fly over for some of the mid-term breaks as well if they were long enough to make it worthwhile, otherwise I stayed at school. Once I got to military school, I was there long enough to make friends and got invited to go home or skiing with them for some of the mid-term breaks. This has always been home to me. Uncle Clive was always more of a father to me than mine ever was. It hurts to know that he’s gone. I am more upset about that than my career.” Tony finished sleepily, following up with a wide yawn.

“Sleep now.” Gibbs replied softly, running his hand up and down Tony’s back. The younger man was getting heavier against him as he dozed off and Gibbs relaxed himself as he felt Tony go completely boneless as he finally fell asleep. He pressed a feather like kiss into the soft hair on the top of Tony’s head before he fell asleep himself.


	6. Saturday

Gibbs woke before Tony the following morning and gently extricated himself without waking him. He was already aroused just having Tony close, the scent of the younger man and the feel of the soft skin against his was tantalising, but he didn’t want to give in to the temptation when he was the one who had told Tony they should wait. Tony mumbled in his sleep and reached out but quickly settled once Gibbs placed his pillow in Tony’s arms, allowing him to wrap himself around it.

Gibbs smiled down at him and went to start the coffee before taking a quick shower and quietly jerking off, relieving himself of his problem.

They had breakfast at a little café on the seafront before exploring the town. Walking through the streets, they enjoyed the freedom of just being able to walk around together, stopping whenever they wanted. Gibbs was glad that Tony didn’t expect him to hold hands or show any other display of affection. So far, nobody had taken any notice of the two men wandering around together, but not everyone was as accepting as Chris of two men having a relationship and he didn’t want to risk any kind of negative attention, that was the last thing Tony needed right now. Anyway, he really wasn’t one for public displays of affection.

They toured The Red House, where Benjamin Britten once lived and worked, and the Aldeburgh Museum, stopping for lunch at The Cross Keys, a seafront pub serving freshly caught seafood, along with local beer. From there they walked further along the shore, exploring the Beach Lookout and Art House and onto the beach itself, to view the four metre high ‘Scallop’, a sculpture made entirely of steel by local craftsmen, inscribed with the words “I hear those voices that will not be drowned” from Britten’s famous opera Grimes.

They strolled back along the beach, content in each other’s presence in a way that felt familiar, as if they had known each other for much longer than a few days. Conversation flowed naturally, but even when they fell silent, it was a comfortable silence which neither felt the need to fill.

Aldeburgh was well known for having one of the best fish and chips in Britain, certainly the best on the East Coast, and they made the most of it by returning again for their evening meal. Returning to their spot on the seafront as the sun set on another beautiful day. Reluctant to leave, they remained until the sun had completely disappeared. Stars twinkled into view as the sky darkened and the almost full moon bathed the scene before them, reflecting off a sea that was now a deep midnight blue.

Under the cover of darkness, Gibbs couldn’t resist drawing the younger man close and kissing him gently. They sat there for the better part of an hour just kissing and making out lazily, with no expectation of taking it any further. By the time Gibbs reluctantly decided it was time to get back to the boat Tony was relaxed and almost boneless in his arms.

Eventually Gibbs stood, pulling Tony to his feet. “Come on, let’s get back to the boat. We need to make an early start in the morning.”


	7. Sunday

They woke early and, after a quick coffee, got underway. They were only travelling a short distance along the coast to Southwold and Gibbs had planned to have breakfast there, as Tony had admitted it was another town he had never visited.

They enjoyed a full English breakfast, followed by toast and locally made marmalade, before walking along the seafront to the pier, where they stopped for coffee before walking back to the boat. The next stretch of the journey would be a long one as Gibbs planned to sail back to the private mooring used on their first night on the boat. He didn’t intend to stop for lunch, which was why he had ensured they had a good breakfast.

It was another beautiful day. The sun sparkled off the water and a warm breeze enabled the little boat to speed through the water. On this leg of the trip, they had a following wind so would make good time until they rounded the coast as they passed Hemsby.

Gibbs didn’t think he had smiled so much in years. Tony was completely relaxed and his joy and exhilaration as the boat sped along the coast was infectious. The wind whipped his hair into his face as he walked across the deck with mugs in his hand and Gibbs laughed at him.

“Hey, what’s so funny?” Tony asked as he reached his side, shaking his head to try and get the hair out of his mouth.

Gibbs reached out and removed the offending hair before stroking his hand down the side of Tony’s face. The younger man smiled softly and leaned into the touch, turning his head to drop a kiss into Gibbs’ palm.

“This has been so nice, just being here with you. I’m not looking forward to going back to reality tomorrow.” Tony sighed as he handed Gibbs his coffee and sat on the bench beside him.

“I’ll take you out again next weekend, once the funeral is over, if you like. It’ll give you something to look forward to, even if we just go out for the day.” Gibbs offered.

“That’ll be nice.” Tony snuggled into him, sipping his hot chocolate. “You will be there, at the funeral, won’t you?” He asked anxiously. “I haven’t really talked about it with Chris. I mean, I know it’s a full funeral mass but, I don’t even know what the arrangements are or how big a crowd will be there.”

“Yes, I’ll be there.” Gibbs assured him. “His body is being brought to the Chapel in The Hall on Thursday for viewing, Marina’s expecting to be back then too. The funeral mass is at 11:00am on Friday and will just be for family and close friends at Our Lady’s, followed by a light lunch. The memorial service at 14:00 is being held in the main function room at The Hall and will be open to anyone who wants to attend, with a buffet afterwards. Chris said it worked well that way for your grandfather as the church isn’t really big enough for everyone who would want to be there.”

Our Lady, Star of the Sea was the small church built on the Paddington Estate. Generations of the Paddington family were buried in the small churchyard. A priest from the Catholic Shrine at Walsingham, five miles inland, came out one Sunday a month, along with Christmas and Easter to lead mass. The church was only small, seating around one hundred people and between the family, close friends, the workers on the Estate, including the farm, workers and volunteers at The Hall, along with people from the village, it would be too many for the little church to hold.

“Yes, I remember. I was eleven when my grandfather died. It was around the beginning of December and school let me out early for Christmas, Chris flew out and collected me so I could come home for his funeral. It was a long day, but at that age I wasn’t expected to make nice with people.” He laughed. “I don’t know if my father ever knew I was here for almost five weeks that year. You know, even when my mother was alive, he never came to England with us when we visited my grandparents, and we came over several times a year.”

“Judging from what Clive said about your father I’m pretty sure he wasn’t invited and wouldn’t have been welcome. I know that your grandfather respected your mothers’ decision to marry him, but I got the impression that he never really approved of the marriage.”

Tony frowned. “I think that my parents loved each other. My father was always away a lot but when he was home my mother always seemed happy. She looked forward to him returning from his business trips and always planned something for us to do as a family, either a holiday or days out. He would buy her flowers, or jewellery and take her out to dinner, places she had to get dressed up to go to. He just didn’t seem to like me much.”

“Perhaps he was just jealous that you and your mother were so close,” Gibbs commented softly, “it happens. One minute he is her number one priority, then she has you and with him being away a lot meant that you and your mother were close, he may have felt left out.” Gibbs shook his head. “Some men just don’t accept the change in the dynamic of the relationship and instead of bonding with their child, so they become one unit, they become a third wheel, feeling like they have to share their partner with the child, instead of being a family.”

Tony looked at him in consideration. “Yeah, you know that makes sense. When she spent time with me while he was at home he would never come and take part in what we were doing, whether it was watching a movie, playing the piano, reading or playing games. He just wanted her to leave me and come and do something with him. He never did want me around.” He sighed in resignation.

“Well, that was his loss,” Gibbs pulled Tony close for a kiss, “there are a lot of people who did and still do want you around and who value you for who you are. And I’m glad, in a way, because otherwise I would never have met you.”

Tony looked up and grinned. “Actually, yes. There are so many good things that have happened to me, which would never have happened if I’d grown up with him. And, while there will always be that little boy inside me who just wanted to be loved by his father, well, that boat has long sailed now. Uncle Clive has been a father to me, Chris, Elise and Marina are my big brother and sisters and the kids have always called me uncle, I would have missed out on all of that. They are my family and now I have you too.”

Tony stood and stretched with a grin. “Well, I don’t know about you but I’m getting peckish, do you want a sandwich to keep you going?”

“That sounds good.” Gibbs grinned, glad to see the smile back on Tony’s face.

Tony leaned over to pick up the mugs, gifting Gibbs with a quick kiss before retreating below.

***** 

They continued their journey, arriving at their overnight mooring late afternoon. Gibbs steered the boat to the jetty and Tony jumped off to secure her for the night. Gibbs was pleased to see how much easier Tony was moving, it was almost as if the resolution of his emotional turmoil had relaxed his body enough to ease the tense muscles, despite the fact that he hadn’t been sticking rigidly to his physiotherapy regime.

Gibbs lowered the sails and went below to pick up the portable barbecue and the steaks, which he set about cooking on the jetty. Tony quickly joined him, bringing out cold beers, plates and cutlery and at the last minute, potatoes, which had been baking in the oven. Soon they were digging hungrily into their dinner.

After clearing up and ensuring the barbecue had cooled, they sat on the deck, finishing off their beers. Tony looked shyly at Gibbs, chewing on his lower lip.

“Jethro, will you make love to me tonight? I do know what I want, and this weekend has only reinforced it. I don’t want to wait any longer. We’ve shared a bed for the past few nights which I’ve never done with anyone before.” He looked away ashamed. “It’s always just been about the sex and leaving straight after, never about intimacy or making love.”

Jethro reached out and cupped his face, turning it back so that he could look Tony in the eyes. “You’re really sure about this?”

“I’ve never been more certain about anything in my life.” Tony replied honestly. “It may sound soppy, but I feel like we’re meant to be together. One of my friends from military school told me that he found his soul mate, soon after we went to college. They married at 21 and are now blissfully happy with two children. I never believed in soul mates, didn’t think you could fall in love with someone and know immediately that they were the one. But it’s real, that’s how I feel about you.”

“Soul mates.” Jethro repeated, stroking his thumb over Tony’s cheek. “I felt that connection the moment I saw you.”

“They why are we waiting?” Tony whispered, nuzzling Gibbs’ hand which was still caressing his face.

“Out here, or down below?” Gibbs asked. It was a beautiful evening and still very warm and there was nobody around.

“Out here, in the moonlight, under the stars. It’s romantic and perfect.” Tony replied with a sweet, shy smile.

“I’ll just grab what we need.” Gibbs rose and went down below to grab a blanket, cushion and supplies. Tony detoured to the head and, after using the facilities, picked up his washcloth and towel. Gibbs laughed when he saw him. 

“Hey, don’t laugh,” Tony grinned, “I want to be able to snuggle afterwards without being sticky and glued together.”

Gibbs grinned and pulled Tony closer, kissing him gently, his hand slipping up the back of Tony’s t-shirt enjoying the feel of warm, bare skin. He slipped his hand lower, dipping into Tony’s shorts.

Tony shivered in anticipation. “Too many clothes, Jethro.” He mumbled against Gibbs’ lips as he tugged at Gibbs’ polo shirt.

“We’d better do something about it then.” Gibbs took hold of the bottom of Tony’s t-shirt and pulled it slowly over his head, his eyes wandering over the muscled body beneath, hands exploring the bare flesh. The button on Tony’s shorts was next and Gibbs pulled the shorts down realising Tony wore nothing beneath them, he smiled in appreciation at the hard cock which sprung up as it was released from its confinement. He bent down to remove Tony’s deck shoes and socks, kissing the head of Tony’s cock on the way down, making the younger man whimper with need.

Tony was already pulling on Gibbs shirt again, so he let him have his way, allowing the younger man to undress him in return. Tony went one better, taking Gibbs cock into his mouth and swirling his tongue around the head, making Gibbs groan in appreciation.

They sunk onto the blanket together and Tony moaned softly, his lips parting eagerly when Gibbs’ requested entrance. Their tongues fought playfully, lazily teasing each other before increasing in intensity, duelling for control. Tony soon gave in, submitting to Gibbs and allowing the older man to take the lead.

Gibbs kissed him gently, slowing the pace, wanting them both to last. They were both aroused, but Gibbs didn’t want to rush things, he wanted their first time to be something to remember, showing Tony just what it was like to make love rather than simply have sex.

Tony lay on his back revelling in the way Gibbs was worshipping his body, exploring every inch and peppering his skin with soft kisses and gentle bites, teasing his nipples and paying special attention to the scars on his leg. He’d never felt so loved and cherished and he felt tears stinging his eyes at the intense emotions sweeping through him.

Gibbs noticed and stopped immediately. “Are you okay?”

“More than okay, Jethro. I’ve never been loved and treasured like this before.” He pulled Gibbs down for a kiss, reassuring him without words that he was very much okay. He rolled them both over and starting his own exploration of his lovers’ body, noting every scar, determined that one day he would know how Jethro got every one of them.

Eventually, Gibbs rolled them again, kissing Tony for a few minutes more before grabbing the lube and sliding one finger inside him. He worked Tony open slowly and carefully, wanting to make sure he was ready. Tony cried out in pleasure when he found his prostate, begging for more. He whimpered in disappointment when Gibbs eventually withdrew his fingers and he kissed Tony again, soothing him gently. He picked up a condom but before he could open it, Tony grabbed his wrist.

“I’m clean. I had a test just before the accident. I haven’t had sex with anyone since. I want to feel you inside me without anything between us.”

“I’m clean too, was tested in March at a routine health check. Haven’t been with anyone since I’ve been over here anyway.” Gibbs stared down into Tony’s eyes, loving the way they sparkled, the little lights on the boat reflected in the luminous dark pools as he sank, bareback, into his lover.

It was a world away from the rough, urgent sex that Tony was used to. It was passionate and deeply intimate in a way that Tony had never imagined was possible. Gibbs dropped his head and kissed Tony repeatedly as he moved in and out, starting with gentle, unhurried thrusts and slowly building the intensity, enjoying the little noises of pleasure coming from Tony. 

Tony didn’t think he’d ever been so aroused or so hard. His cock was trapped between their bodies, leaking copiously, and the stimulation slowly brought him towards orgasm. When Gibbs reached between them and wrapped his hand expertly around Tony’s cock it didn’t take much and Tony was coming, crying out as he experienced the most intense orgasm he’d ever had, causing his brain to completely short circuit. Through the haze, he was barely even aware of Gibbs reaching his own climax. 

They lay quietly for a few minutes, catching their breath, then Gibbs reached over for the washcloth and cleaned them off, throwing it off to one side and pulling Tony closer to kiss him gently, both of them revelling in the deepened connection between them.

Tony snugged as close as he could get, laying partly on Gibbs, with his head nestled on Gibbs’ shoulder. A strong hand was stroking his back softly, reassuring and grounding him. Tony didn’t want the moment to end, he wanted to stay here forever, safe, protected and loved in Gibbs’ arms.

Tony sighed as he dropped a feather soft kiss on Gibbs neck. “That was incredible, Jethro. I knew I was missing out before, but I never believed it could be as good as that, that really was amazing. Thank you, I’m going to remember tonight forever, and I don’t care how girly that sounds.”

Gibbs chuckled. “I guess we’ll have to plan on doing it again sometime.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Tony replied dreamily, “I can get on board with that.” He shivered slightly.

“Come on, I think it’s time we went below. The temperature’s dropping and we have a tide to catch in the morning.” He kissed Tony’s nose and rolled him over so he could get up, reaching down to pull Tony up after him.

“Do we have to go back?” Tony whined as he picked up the blanket. “Can’t we just sail off into the sunset instead.”

Gibbs laughed. “Much as I would love to, we do need to go back. We have obligations back home. That doesn’t mean that we can’t do this every weekend that the weathers’ good enough.”

“Maybe someday, when we’ve retired and we don’t have any commitments, we can sail off around the world.” Tony suggested.

Gibbs laughed. “Maybe. But don’t wish your life away, we have a lifetime ahead of us and we need to enjoy that first.”

“And I’m going to enjoy every minute spent with you.” Tony replied seriously before waggling his eyebrows and grinning. “Especially making love.” 

End


End file.
